Long time coming

It's been a long time between posts, guess a wee bit of that is shame, that I haven't been doing nearly as well as I should have, sure I've lost over 50kg now ... and very proud of that, but still so far to go. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel yet ... and to be honest, I would really just love to get to double digits, and I still have over 20kg to get there, but I just can't seem to get the push I need to stop shoving crappy unhealthy food into my mouth.
I need to exercise, I need to get back to water aerobics, but I am really ashamed to go back since it's been so long. I feel like a bit of a failure.

The biggest thing to have happened to us in the last 12 months, we finally fell pregnant for the first time, I unfortanuately miscarried at just under 6 weeks, only days after finding out. Our huge cloud 9 was sent shattering in now time. I know my weightloss contributed to that pregnancy, and more weight loss can again increase my chance again ... but far out - even that's not giving me te push at the moment!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrr @ myself!!

I've been very lazy with the weightloss, lacking alot of motivation, I am proud of what I have achieved so far - 37.3kg is no little loss, but for what I need to achieve, I'm only a third of the way there, so I'm frustrated and just plateu'ing at the moment. If I was sgtrict like my sister in law, I could have lost 50kg by now, but I can't not let myself have things, I then go crazy and ust gorge like there is no tomorrow, so I've been allowing myslef to have what I want, but in moderation - the reason behind the lap band, it help with the moderation only letting me eat a very small amount, so it's a tool - one I am misusing right at this very moment, but it's been an emotional rollercoaster lately and always - emotions are my excuse to eat ... something I am working on... trust me - much better than I used to be. I no longer eat a packet of tim tams, I eat 1 or 2. Life changing in comparison, and it's a long road ahead, but I will get there even if it takes me 10 years .... it's not something I can just step off like Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers, it's a lifetime of dieting I am facing, but if that's what it takes ... that's exactly what I'll do. :-)

Hurdle Leaped

I've had a hurdle for a couple of weeks where I just couldn't make it to 35kg loss mark ... it's been insane and I've been relatively well behaved.I went for my fill yesterday and the surgeon didn't put anything in as he was happy with my progress and said if he did put fluid in, it would be overfill and not good for me, so he wants me to wait it out another 4 weeks, which is fine with me. I'll just be strong and good and start adding more exercise to my very limited exercise regime.
However, I got on the scales this morening - and wohoooo ... I've leaped the 35kg loss mark ..... finally. Gives me a smile and motivation to reach my next 5kg goal of 40kg down. 47 kg will be my half way mark!!! So only 12kg off that!!
Getting excited, can't wait to be half way there, currently only just over a third of the way!!! LOL. But I am so proud of myself.

I went home to visit Mum and Dad in the country on the weekend and my best mate who I haven't seen for a couple of months commented just how much I am fading away - lol, exaggeration on his behalf but compared to what I was, then I am.

Even a friend of my sister in laws commented to my Mum that she didn't comment on my weight loss to me directly as she wasn't sure if it was me who had lost a stack of weight or my next younger sister who had put some on, so she thought she'd check with Mum first and then pass on a congrats for my weightloss because I look fantastic.

Oh, and remember my pandora charm - every 5kg I put a new charm, this morning marked a new charm!! Yay!!! That is 7 I now have on it.

Milestone

Holy cow ... I'm under 140kg, I am so excited by that - happy happy happy ... things are moving well this week - really pleased!!!

I haven't been very 'good' lately, so today is a whole new day - starting fresh ... drinking lots of water today, just having what I should - no extra junk - that's my goal. Go me!!!!

Busy evening ahead, going home to cook 3 meals, tonights and the next 2 nights as I have aqua aerobics on tuesday nights, so always cook a casserole like dinner the evening before so it can just be reheated when we get home, but this week I have hairdressers wednesday night, so cooking chicken fettucine for then .... I love an organised kitchen.

6 months post surgery = baby making

Other than of course to become a better, healthier, sexier me ..... my biggest problem is PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome) so it is extremely hard for us to fall pregnant.
Hubby and I have been married over 18 months and are really eager to start a family, but first I need to lose a massive amount of weight.
Hopefully by losing 40-50kg, my ovaries might get their shit together and start maturing eggs.

Fingers crossed and send me baby dust!! I need all the help I can get.

Anyway on my first appointment with my surgeon last November, I was told that I needed to wait 6 months after surgery to start TTC (trying to conceive) so come the 2nd of Augsut 09 - it was BD Day (Baby Dancing day) lol ... go us ..... think my body needs more time, but doesn't hurt trying hey???

1st August 09

OMG OMG OMG - my pics are unreal, I don't even lookn like the me I have known for such a long time, my body shape is just changing dramatically.




Measurements
Weight: 141.7kg
Neck: 41.5cm
Biceps: 40cm
Chest: 119cm
Boobs: 141.5xm
Waist: 121cm
Thighs: 62cm
Stomach: 150cm
Abs: 144.5cm





A total of 31.8kg lost and 108.5cm smaller. I am finally - FINALLY - feeling good about myself, feeling proud of the direction I am going!!!

1st July 09

Made a bit of a dent - I'm in the 140's ... wohooooo

Measurements

Weight: 145.8kg

Neck: 41.5cm

Biceps: 41cm

Chest: 120cm

Boobs: 148cm

Waist: 124cm

Thighs: 64cm

Stomach: 152cm

Abs: 145cm

pics are really telling a story of their own!!